Arminian Today

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Posts Tagged ‘Satire

Why Does God Allow Arminianism?

Time for a little satire so all you Calvinists, please don’t take this too seriously.

The following is from the personal blog of Dr. John Wesley Calvin (not a real person).

Why does God allow Arminianism?  This was posed to me recently at a conference I was attending (you know us Calvinists, always attending various conferences).  If you look around you’ll notice that nearly 98% of the church is Arminian.  They are everywhere.  They have way more Bible teaching programs than we do, more seminaries that are Arminian in theology, and their books fill Christian bookstores.  Arminianism is the dominant theology in the United States and many Western nations.  What are we Calvinists to do?  How do we respond to this?  And why does a sovereign God allow such errors to persist?

Let me try to answer you my dear Calvinist friends and family.

1.  Satan.

God gives Satan a certain amount of freedom and as the father of lies (John 8:44), Satan is always seeking to deceive people from the truth (2 Corinthians 4:4).  Satan blinds Arminians eyes to the truths of the doctrines of grace.

2.  To Strengthen the Saints.

God allows Arminianism to persist so that the testimony of the saints will be stronger.  This affliction (2 Corinthians 4:17) is used by God to help us know the truths of Calvinism.  Further, when you debate an Arminian, you see how ignorant they are and how they don’t use the Bible to defend their views.  They are lovers of self, prideful, lovers of so-called “free will” and they despise God’s sovereignty.  God uses these debates to show us true saints how correct we are and how the doctrines of grace truly exalt our God.

3.  To Show Who The Reprobate Are.

I have no doubt that many Arminians are reprobate.  They will be cast into hell for their denial of God’s grace, God’s sovereignty, and God’s glory.  These reprobates bring shame to the truth of God.  God allows Arminians to persist to show us who are truly the elect or not (1 John 2:19).

4.  Mystery.

Deuteronomy 29:29.

So my dear Calvinist friends, let us continue in the doctrines of grace till the end.  We will win this war because truth is on our side.

Written by The Seeking Disciple

09/11/2014 at 6:01 PM

Posted in Humor

Tagged with , , ,

I am ESV Only!

The following is a satire of the modern King James Only movement and shows its weaknesses.

I am ESV only!  I believe that the men of God who gave us the English Standard Version were commissioned by God to do this work.  For many years the KJV has served the Lord for His purposes in the English language but now, by the providence of God, we have a new translation that corrects the errors that have been appearing in the KJV through various publishers such as the liberal Zondervan or Cambridge.  The Lord has given us renown scholars who love the Word of God, believe in the inerrancy and infallibility of the Word, and who believe that the work of translation should be free from errors.  The men of God who have given us the ESV will no doubt receive their rewards for their good work.

I believe the ESV to be the pure Word of God based on the promise of God in Psalm 12:6-7 (ESV).  The Lord promised in Psalm 12:7 (ESV) that He would keep His Word and He had preserved His Word in the ESV.  I believe this because:

  • The vastly superior manuscripts used by the ESV scholars to translate both the Old and New Testaments.
  • The superior usage of the English language in the ESV as compared to other English “translations.”
  • The blessing of God upon the ESV as seen by many prominent ministries around the world.
  • The sound doctrine that the ESV produces such as the deity of Christ and the blood of Christ.
  • The fact that so many souls have been saved by reading from the ESV.

There is no doubt that other Bible “translations” are not inspired by God.  The NIV attacks the blood of Christ and omits many verses.  The NASB likewise is too wooden to read, is used by liberal preachers and teachers, and does not contain the superior doctrine as found in the ESV.  The KJV is too archaic, has many errors in translation and is not based on the best Hebrew and Greek texts.  The NKJV is similar to the KJV in terms of its Hebrew and Greek texts.  The ESV alone stands as the pure Word of God for us in English.

The very name, English Standard Version, shows how great the ESV is.  It is THE English standard for all Bible translations to be compared by.  If you are using a corrupt bible such as the NIV or the NKJV, the ESV should be the final authority by which you judge all other “bibles” by.  The Bible for us in English today is the ESV and the ESV alone.

So why did God give us the ESV?  God has always had a language that He spoke through.  In the Old Testament, God spoke to the world through Hebrew.  In the New Testament, Greek was the dominant language and so God gave us the Greek Old Testament (the Septuagint) and the New Testament authors wrote in Greek as well as read from the Old Testament in Greek.  Over the centuries other languages have seen God’s hand upon them such as Latin and German.  Today, the language that dominates the world is English.  English remains the international business language and though Chinese is the largest spoken language on Earth, English remains the dominant business language.  Therefore, God has given us the ESV as THE standard by which we judge all other Bibles.  The ESV should be the standard to judge even Spanish, Chinese, or other languages and their Bibles.

And how do I know that the ESV is the standard?  Because of its name and because of the promise of God in Psalm 12:7 (ESV)!

One final question: Can you be saved and not use the ESV?  I answer perhaps.  There is no denying that salvation is the gracious work of God (Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV!).  But it is true that other “bibles” may lead the new Christian astray.  Jesus warned us in Matthew 24:5 (ESV!) that false christs would come.  Jesus also said that His sheep hear His voice in John 10:27 (ESV).  What voice would that be if not the ESV?  The ESV faithfully teaches sound doctrine (1 Timothy 4:16 ESV) and we learn about Jesus in truth from the ESV (John 20:31 ESV).  The ESV doesn’t attack the precious blood of Christ nor His deity as other false translations do.  The ESV faithfully has been used by many street preachers and this shows that God is using the ESV for His glory.  Furthermore, the ESV translation committee give all glory to God right there in the opening of the ESV!  How much more proof do you need?

I urge you to get an ESV today!  In God’s providence, the ESV is protected by Crossway Books.  This enables the ESV from falling into wicked hands like the KJV has with Zondervan and Cambridge.  While it is true that Cambridge (and a few others) are publishing editions of the ESV now, those are protected by Crossway Books overseeing that only the ESV text they produced is used.  This again is proof of Psalm 12:7.

While certain wicked Arminians and Calvinists have claimed the ESV as their own, the ESV belongs to the people of God.  I pray that many fundamentalist Baptist will repent of using false “bible” translations and begin to use the wonderful ESV.  The ESV, perhaps, will be the Bible that God uses to bring in the end of the world!

Written by The Seeking Disciple

07/24/2014 at 6:36 PM

The Calvinist Logic of Doctrinal Truth (Satire)

This is meant to be funny so don’t take this too seriously.

The Calvinist logic when it comes to doctrinal truth would look like this:

Jesus was the first Calvinist and He over and over again affirmed the doctrines of grace such as in John 6 or His prayer in John 17.

All the Apostles were Calvinists and defended the doctrines of grace handed down to them by Christ Himself.

Paul was the chief among the early Calvinists with his classical defense of God’s sovereignty in Romans 9 and Ephesians 1.

All the early Church Fathers were committed to the doctrines of grace except the heretics.

Augustine restored much of the damage that had been caused by Pelagius and he kept the Church focused on true orthodoxy as found in the teachings of the original Calvinist, Jesus Himself.

John Calvin was used mightily by God to restore much of what the heretic Catholics and Orthodox Church had done to malign the doctrines of grace.  His associates after him in Geneva were biblically trained to defend and preach the faith.

Jacob Arminius nearly ruined the mighty move of God through Calvin and his successors but thanks be to God for the Synod of Dort following Arminius’ death (another merciful act of God).

John Wesley, while a confused Calvinist himself, brought harm to the Church in England with his Arminianism but praise God that godly men such as Augustus Toplady would resist him.  George Whitefield was a sovereign grace preacher himself and did as much (if not more) than Wesley did for God’s glory.

In America, God used Jonathan Edwards to defend and teach the truth of the gospel as found in Calvinism.

Charles Spurgeon is the prince of preachers by the Prince of Peace.  Thankfully Spurgeon was a Calvinist!

The 20th century saw much harm to the doctrines of grace but the Lord has used men such as James Boice, John MacArthur, John Piper, and James White to once again lead the Church back to the truth.

So there you have it.  The Church was established by Jesus and His teachings and His work in saving the elect of God.  Paul and the Apostles preached Calvinism as taught to them by Jesus.  Augustine and Calvin protected and established the truth of Calvinism.  Arminius and Wesley both nearly ruined the Church but the Synod of Dort has been here ever since to protect us.   Calvinism is nothing more than the pure gospel!


Written by The Seeking Disciple

01/06/2013 at 6:47 PM

Posted in Calvinism Defended, Humor

Tagged with ,

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